14 Ways To Gain Confidence When You’re At A New Job And An Introvert

14 Ways To Gain Confidence When You’re At A New Job And An Introvert

If you are an introvert, there are many aspects of life that can feel extra challenging — like gaining and communicating self-confidence at a new job. But, it doesn’t have to be.

It is completely possible for an introvert to be confident and build good positive relationships with people over time. Here’s how:

1. Know that you are wired to lead

Several years ago, TheLadders.com, conducted a survey and learned that 65% of 1,542 senior managers believed that introversion was an impediment to getting ahead in the workplace. The belief is that managers tend to see extroverted employees who tend to be more talkative, energetic and often popular as leadership material.

But, according to Professor Adam Grant from the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business introverts can be better leaders. That’s because introverts are in tune with their likes and dislikes. They know what works best for them and they use this information to create work environments that optimize their effectiveness. Maximum effectiveness is key to career success. If you are an introvert – let that sink in. You are wired to lead. Own it!

2. Get charged before you engage

The main difference between introverts and extroverts is where they get their energy. Extroverts get their energy from engaging with other people – the more people they engage with the more charged up they get. On the other hand, introverts get their energy from being alone. Much like a cell phone battery, their energy gets depleted with extensive social interaction. Depending on their capacity, they will need to retreat from social interaction to recharge before they are comfortable enough to re-engage with other.

If you are an introvert, make sure that you find strategic times during your day to grab some alone time to re-charge. Consider scheduling an hour of alone time before large staff meetings or networking events. When you are charged and re-energized you more easily engage with others. This allows you to communicate confidence more easily with your new co-workers.

3. Leverage one-on-one interactions

Introverts are often more comfortable when they connect with others one-on-one. If you’re an introvert, use this to your advantage. Set up lunch dates with each of the members of your team and with colleagues from other departments. Use these opportunities to get to know them on a more personal basis as well as to ask for success tips for your new role. The bottom line is when you’re in one-on-one settings you’re more comfortable and this will go a long way in communicating confidence at your new job.

4. Dress for success

Do you know that awesome feeling you get when you have a new outfit that looks great on you? There’s nothing like it. There is no doubt that when we look and feel our best, we communicate confidence. So always strive to look your best. It will put a pep in your step that will radiate self-confidence at your new job.

5. Speak with a period at the end

In addition to your physical appearance, how you speak will make an impression at your new job. So, if you’re an introvert who wants to communicate confidence at work, use language that projects that you are a confident leader.

Also, be mindful that the volume and tone of your voice are instrumental in conveying confidence and leadership. Don’t sound tentative when you speak. Instead, speak with a period at the end. In other words, affirmatively and with authority. You should also limit your use of phrases like “I think” and “I feel.” If you’re in a meeting where others are dominating the discussion, don’t always wait for everyone to finish speaking before you chime in; you may never get the opportunity. Be ready to politely, but firmly Interject.

Your body language speaks loud and clear long before you open your mouth to say a word. The way you carry yourself sends strong messages about who you are and how you feel about yourself. Your presence and demeanor communicate your level of self-confidence.

So, watch your body language and adjust as needed in order to communicate self-confidence. You can start to communicate self-confidence by watching your posture: hold your chin up, shoulders back, feet 12 inches apart with your weight evenly distributed on both feet. If you do this regularly, you will begin to feel relaxed and comfortable in your own skin; owning who you are. As you communicate self-confidence with your body language, others at your new job will begin to view you as a leader.

7. Be engaging

Whether you’re at a meeting or at a social event your interactions with colleagues and key influencers will establish a foundation for your future success in your new role. Make it a point to be engaging and genuinely interested in the person you are talking to. You don’t need to be an extrovert to be engaging.  Dale Carnegie, a master at building relationships, said it best when he wrote the “6 ways to make people like you” in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People:

Become genuinely interested in other people

Smile

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

Talk in the terms of the other person’s interest

Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

8. Speak up

As an introvert, you are likely not prone to speaking just for the sake of speaking. This is a good thing. But, you should be prepared to speak when it matters. As the new employee on the block, always prepare before meetings. Review the agenda and consider how you will substantively contribute to the discussion. Perhaps you will make recommendations to a project or ask questions that will clarify a point.

You may even affirm someone else’s point of view or offer a different viewpoint. Whatever your contribution is, be thoughtful about what you say and how you say it. In addition, understand that using too many words can kill the effectiveness of what you’re communicating. Use fewer words and get to the point. Remember, every word you speak will help to build your credibility before your new peers.

9. Talk about your accomplishments

Many introverts miss out on leadership opportunities because they are uncomfortable with self-promotion. They think that self-promotion is bragging. But self-promoting and bragging are two different things. Bragging is ego driven; self-promotion is accomplishment driven. Find and/or create opportunities where you can update key stakeholders about your contribution to successful projects at your new job. Those early wins feed your confidence for the next win.

For example, speak about your accomplishments during your performance evaluation with your manager or at a status update meeting. You may even find an opportunity to share in a memo that is widely distributed throughout your organization.

10. Public speaking

While it sounds counterintuitive, public speaking is an excellent way to build confidence when you are an introvert. Find opportunities at your new job to speak at meetings, workshops, seminars, and conferences. In addition to helping you build confidence, public speaking is an important leadership skill to develop. You can join a local Toastmasters International group or work with a coach who will be able to provide you with personal individualized attention.

New jobs come with new people, a new company culture and often new challenges. That’s why starting a new job can be emotionally draining for an introvert. This can ultimately impact your level of confidence. To counteract this, train yourself to see the glass as half full rather than half empty when you encounter challenges at your new job. When you find your thoughts going in a negative direction, challenge yourself to focus on the positive side of things.

Ask yourself questions like: What can I do to improve this situation? What lessons have I learned that will help me be successful in the future? How can this situation help me to help others? In addition to asking yourself these types of questions, take the time each day to write down the things you are thankful for. For example, you may be thankful for the sunset, the change in seasons, your talents, abilities, friends, etc. These exercises will help you to develop an attitude of gratitude and will lay the foundation for an uplifted spirit, a positive perspective and a higher level of confidence.

12. Develop a growth plan

In this day and age, it is increasingly more important that you be strategic about your leadership path. Therefore, the earlier you do this at your new job, the better. Developing a plan and a timeframe for where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Begin by doing research. Become a student of your industry and your new organization. Become familiar with trends and organizational changes.

Enlist the help and advice of mentors to help pave the way. This kind of research and planning will help you to make wiser decisions about leadership opportunities that may become available to you in the future. A growth plan will fuel you with a sense of purpose and confidence at your new job.

13. Volunteer for “stretch” assignments

As a new employee and an introvert, a great way to gain confidence at a new job is to volunteer for a stretch assignment. So, don’t wait to be selected for a special project; volunteer to participate in one. Speak to your manager about your goals and how you believe you can make a meaningful contribution. When an opportunity pops up that will highlight your skills and capabilities, volunteer for it.

But, don’t just volunteer for projects that will come naturally to you. Look for opportunities that will stretch you and help you learn new skills that will help you build your confidence. Be aware, nonetheless, that every new opportunity is accompanied by risk. But, it’s a risk worth taking if you are ready for the challenge.

14. Celebrate your victories

Every victory you have at your new job will empower you and make you more confident. Relish those moments and celebrate your victories.

This article originally appeared on Fairygodboss.

New Open Work-space Has Introvert Dying Inside

New Open Work-space Has Introvert Dying Inside

Q: After an office renovation, all the employees in my department were moved to a new workspace. Previously, we were spread across two floors, working in cubicles with tall sound-absorbing dividers. Now, however, we are crammed side-by-side into a small open area where everyone is constantly staring at everyone else.

As an introvert, I require a certain amount of quiet to concentrate, so this chaotic environment makes it impossible to think. Co-workers keep walking by, phones are constantly ringing, and people converse in loud voices. With all these distractions, there’s no way that I can do my best work.

I thought about using some plants for privacy, but we’ve been told not to put anything on our desks which might block our view of other employees. How can I survive in this place?

A: I believe open office designs are the work of the devil. Managers typically implement this configuration to save money on office fixtures or to promote “teamwork.” While the former motive may be valid, removing all privacy is hardly the best way to foster collaboration.

In reality, packing people together in an open space frequently has the opposite effect. Forced interaction increases irritation, distractions interfere with productive discussions, overstimulation creates stress, and many folks have difficulty concentrating.

But since your bosses have recently invested extensive time and effort in creating this bullpen, they aren’t likely to change their opinions soon. So for now, you might as well do your best to cope.

Try using earbuds to mask noise with soothing music. Eye contact encourages conversation, so stay focused on your work when people walk by. If someone initiates an unwelcome chat, politely explain that you have deadlines to meet.

Seek out quiet areas where you can go to collect your thoughts. If you need permission to leave your desk, explain how doing so will improve work results. Saying “I need privacy” sounds self-centered, but stating “This report will be done twice as fast if I can use the conference room” puts the emphasis on business issues.

Based on their prohibition of privacy devices, your managers are clearly enamored with the notion of constant interaction. But as the newness wears off, perhaps they will realize that continuous availability is not the same as teamwork.

To snitch or not to snitch

Q: After I joined this company two months ago, several people told me that one executive regularly smokes in the bathroom. I didn’t believe them until I actually saw him coming out of a smoke-filled stall. When I mentioned this to my boss, he suggested that I go to human resources. However, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. What do you think?

A: Although this executive smoker is definitely in the wrong, you are wise to weigh the risk before deciding to turn him in. Approaching HR as a lone crusader is probably not the best move, because there’s no guarantee that your identity will remain confidential.

Instead, invite the colleagues who shared this information to join you in a group effort. If they appear reluctant, their longer experience with this company may have taught them that such interventions can be hazardous.

“Whether you win the championship or not, you’re going to be running around like crazy if you’re a member of Team Penske,” Newgarden said. “It’s just how Roger is. He wants to make sure we’re doing everything we can for our partners. And we’re contributing and we’re educated on all of the topics and business side of things. So you’re busy either way. Right now, you might as well just win, because you’re going to be busy driving for Roger.”

And for as much as Penske demands of Newgarden, the biggest burden might still come from this sport itself. That’s a challenge he’s rising to, race after race, event after event and interview after interview — even if he needs some time in that basement when it’s all said and done.

“I’m not being fake, but I just have to heighten myself. Energize myself,” he said. “After a weekend of doing that, I’m ready to just sit at home for a day and recover. … It drains me.”

Dakota Crawford writes for The Indianapolis Star, part of the USA TODAY Network.

What's Your Personality Type?

What's Your Personality Type?

If you don’t know whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you can figure it out very quickly, you only need to observe yourself a little bit . 

If you recharge your energy batteries, especially emotional and mental ones, by social interaction, you are probably an extrovert, and if you recover your energy while alone or in quiet surroundings, you’re probably an introverted type of person.

In other words, if you feel energized and refreshed after attending a party, while in a big group of people or by being very socially active (“absorbing the good vibes), you’re probably an extrovert, and if you feel recharged after being alone or in a very limited company with deep conversation, you’re probably an introvert.

Introversion means preferring the inner world, thinking about ideas and wanting to understand, while extraversion means preferring the outer world, including people, things and a desire for action.

An introverted person wants to understand, and an extroverted person wants to act. We can look for the cause for that on the biological level. Researchers found that introverts are highly sensitive to dopamine – the neurotransmitter that helps control pleasure and reward centers – and that the part of the brain called amygdala becomes very active with interaction (introverts have an extremely sensitive amygdala), thus introverts can feel overwhelmed very quickly.

On the other hand, extroverts have relatively low sensitivity to dopamine and therefore require large amount of outer stimulation. The reason for that is that stimuli travel a longer path through the brains of introverts. Understanding that can help you to realize that introversion is not simply a personality trait, but a nervous system setting.

Knowing that, let’s look at some of the most frequent nervous system settings of introverts. They:

• Focus on one’s inner psychic activity.
• Can’t socialize for large amounts of time. They have it, but it’s not long.
• Enjoy solitude, reading, researching, reflecting
• Need peace and quiet for good concentration.
• Work best when they’re alone.
• Prefer deep one-on-one conversations and don’t know how to do small talk.
• Are usually surrounded with close friends and family, and don’t like big groups of people.
• May seem quiet and aloof, sometimes have trouble communicating.
• Like to work on complex problems, paying attention to detail.
• Are easily distracted by the environment’s stimuli (need to make sure there are no distractions).
• Introverts are supposed to be more cat people, while extroverts dog people, but who knows.

As it will be explained later in the article, the facts stated above don’t mean that introverts can’t be social, good lecturers or performers, but definitely in a different way than extroverts. Usually the difference is that they need to recharge in solitude after being exposed to active happenings in their surroundings.

Based on Jonathan Cheek’s research, there are supposed to be four different types of introverts, each type having a slightly different flavor:

• Social: Preference to socialize with small groups instead of large ones.
• Thinking: Very introspective, thoughtful and self-reflective, without aversion to social events.
• Anxious: Not very confident in social skills, often thinking about what could go wrong.
• Reserved: Operating at a slower pace, thinking before acting, taking time to start with action.

The important thing is that one personality type is not cooler than the other type – be it extrovert, introvert or any of their sub types. You can find very successful and happy people on both sides, although some research suggests that extroverts are happier in general.  It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, the key is to understand yourself better and build your life on your strengths.

There are many successful introverts, including:

• Michel Jordan
• J.K. Rowling
• Bill Gates
• Abraham Lincoln
• Christina Aguilera
• Albert Einstein
• Warren Buffet
• Clint Eastwood
• Harrison Ford
• Barack Obama
• Marrisa Mayer
• Hillary Clinton
• Mark Zukerberg
• Elon Musk
• Mahatma Gandhi
• Larry Page
• Angelina Jolie
• Steven Spielberg
• Marilyn Monroe
• Jay Z
• Al Gore
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• Emma Watston
• even Lady Gaga

Nevertheless, when being an introvert or an extrovert hinders you, you have to go out of your comfort zone and push yourself to become better. It’s the same for both types. Much like introverts sometimes have problems with speaking up or socializing when really needed, extroverts often have problems with things like thinking before acting, focusing, not losing time on too much socializing etc.

The good news is that when you push yourself to overcome weaknesses of one type or the other at key moments in your life that need characteristics of the opposite side, you may slowly become the ambient type, possessing both introvert and extrovert personality traits; then you can experience the benefits of both types and make your experience and understanding of life much richer and deeper, probably also loving and getting along with more people.

Life Of An Introvert...

Life Of An Introvert...

the best way for an introvert to live his life - 

1. Forget About the Labels

Ok, yes, our brains need labels to function. Also, yes, the more we know the more power to us. But there is also a danger of hiding behind labels and diagnosis. You might be an introvert but that doesn’t mean that you are like any other introvert. Do yourself a big favor: take everything with a grain of salt and remember that your truth is your own. Just take the scientific approach and test things out; observe yourself, befriend yourself, trust yourself and don’t allow any external source to predict your behavior, development, and potential. In other words, remember that you are the only one who can decide and define what you can and be as an Introvert.

2. Come Out Of The Closet

No need trying to act like someone else. So you’re an introvert. That’s great! When it comes to personality types there is no such thing as desirable and undesirable, right or wrong, cool or un-cool. There is only the way we perceive ourselves and how we make the best of talents and qualities while learning to embrace our shortcomings.

3. Understand What You Bring To The Table

You are observant, right?! Why not use that. Examine your interactions and decide what you can improve and where your game is strong. What do people look for in you? Maybe you’re a good listener; maybe you always have sound advice; maybe you have a vast culture; maybe you’re just good company. This is not about comparing yourself to others for the sake of blowing up your self-esteem so there is no need to feel vain. It is, in fact, an act of honest evaluation where you reflect on your gifts, your shortcomings, your goals and your relationships.

4. Get Things Done

Ok, yes, you may argue there is no guarantee that an introvert is more productive than an extrovert. But the reality is that as an extrovert is always more likely to fall down the social rabbit hole and emerge hours later running after the night bus. As an introvert, you have the innate ability to do more for yourself. It’s not that you don’t want to share your inner world. It’s just that most of the time it’s easier for you to share it in solitude. Not because you have an issue with looking into someone’s eyes and telling them how you feel, but because writing, cooking or drawing for them allows you to feel energized instead of tired.
With this being said, why not work this to your advantage and spend your time and energy in ways that can later be used to showcase your talents?

5. Own Being Mysterious, Interesting, Unique, Wise

Yes, being outgoing is nice. We all admire the people who can thrive in situations where all eyes are on them. Loud and proud and apparently strangers to any kind of self-doubt, extroverts have us all thinking that being them is the best deal one can make with destiny. But if you were to look at things from an outside point of view things might look different.
We are who we are and we only have two options. The first one is to remain stuck in wanting to be like other people. The second is to work with what we have and turn that into a story that we would love hearing over and over again. Why not be involved in creating your own story. Why not make a commitment be proud about being a mysterious creature that is not easily accessible to everyone? Why not make a decision to be ok with being interesting, unique, wise and elusive? Yes, we all love outgoing people but we all end up being fascinated by those who are harder to reach.

6. Be The Master Of Moods and Atmosphere

As an introvert, your energy naturally goes inward. So in a sense, you are naturally more self-sufficient. You can have all the same emotional experiences an extrovert can without leaving your room. So, you are usually more inclined to treat yourself as the best company. From my introverted friends I have learned that they are the go-to people when it comes to achieving the perfect mood and atmospheres. An introvert will only play the right music, light the perfect amount of candles and it will all happen at the appropriate moment.
So, don’t be afraid to offer yourself the right set and setting of your story. Everyone will thank you for it.

7. Enjoy Surprising Those Who Get Close To You With Your Depth And Your Passion

They say that still waters run deep. From my experience that is a very real image when it comes to describing the introvert.
Because you are quiet and observant people might think that you’re calm and predictable. Even better! Allow life to reveal your true emotional nature, your depth, your complexities, your darkness and your passion to those who deserve it.
It might take a while but the result is priceless!

8. Know That You Are A Good Friend

We all love extroverts because they force us to have fun and interact with life. But we have introverts to thank for taking our hand and guiding us through to the depths of our emotions. It’s not that introverts plan on doing this. Introverts don’t people shop. They don’t fall in love with social projections and this makes them a lot more stable in their relationships. They will stand by the people they were able to connect with deeply and they will value that connection. They nurture their friendships and they are there for better or for worse.
Also, you can just be quiet with them and that’s amazing!

9. Get Involved With Extroverts

Being caught up in your own thoughts and preoccupations can be boring and even dangerous after a certain point. For the sake of balance and sanity, every introvert needs to befriend at least one extrovert. They will force you to have some fun and stop taking things so seriously. They will also get you out of your head because they just can’t help sharing what goes on in their life. This is also a good example for an introvert that can sometimes use a push in the direction of opening up.
Being close to extroverts is also convenient as you can benefit from their natural gifts without having to make an effort yourself. For example, extroverts can introduce you to new people without you having to go through the ordeal of “putting yourself out there”. Extroverts can prove to be your go-to source of networking and social entertainment.
On the flip side, you can also feel like your qualities and skills are actually finding the best outlet in your extroverted friend’s life. You are quiet and grounded in the relationship with yourself. Your habits and character will always show your extrovert another, more self-reliant way of dealing with life.
Yes, they might be tiring but trust me, you are tiring to them as well. As long as you have a good sense of boundaries you will thank your extrovert for shaking things up in your life every once in a while.

Introversion vs. Shyness

Introversion vs. Shyness 

It is important to note that introversion does not necessarily equate with shyness. In their book, The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal, authors Schmidt and Buss write, "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort."

Shyness indicates a fear of people or social situations. Introverts, on the other hand, simply do not like to spend lots of time interacting with other people. However, they do appreciate being around people to whom they are close. They find engaging in "small talk" tedious, but do enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations. Introverts also tend to think about things before talking. They want to have a full understanding of a concept before they voice an opinion or try to offer an explanation.

Misconceptions 

In an excellent article in Atlantic Monthly, author Jonathan Rauch took on some of the common myths and misconceptions about introverts. While introverts are often labeled as shy, aloof, and arrogant, Rauch explains that these perceptions result from the failure of extroverts to understand how introverts function.

"Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion," Rauch suggests. "They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood."

According to estimates, extroverts outnumber introverts by about three to one. Introverts often find that other people try to change them or even suggest that there is something "wrong" with them. Nothing could be further from the truth. While introverts make up a smaller portion of the population, there is no right or wrong personality type. Instead, both introverts and extroverts should strive to understand each other's differences and similarities.

A Word From Verywell

Remember, introversion is not an all-or-nothing characteristic. People can be what you might call introverts with a capital I (aka "very introverted") or they might be outgoing in some situations with some introverted tendencies. Introversion exists on a continuum with extroversion, and most people tend to lie somewhere between the two.

If you identify with some characteristics of introversion and some characteristics of extroversion, then there is a pretty good chance that you are one of the 70 percent of people who fall somewhere in the middle. Ambiverts tend to enjoy both spending time with others and spending time alone, depending upon the situation and their needs at the moment.

Most importantly, remember that one type isn't "better" than the other. Each tendency can have benefits and drawbacks depending on the situation. By better understanding your personality, however, you can learn how to play to your strengths.

If you are an introvert, find ways to cope if the stimulation from the outside world becomes too much. Seek out a quiet moment where you can get away from overwhelming noises and recharge.

In one study of adult introverts between the ages of 18 and 80, those who had strong social relationships and emotional regulation skills were found to be happier than those who did not have those skills. Make the most of your strengths by nurturing your close relationships in order to foster strong social connections and utilize your tendency to look inward in order to develop solid emotional understanding.

Introversion is perfectly normal. If you find, however, that your introverted tendencies are the result of anxiety that impacts your normal, day-to-day functioning, consult your physician or a mental health professional.

Introversion and Behavior

How does introversion impact behavior?

Researchers have found that people high in this trait tend to have a smaller group of friends. While extroverts generally have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, introverts typically choose their friends much more carefully. Their closest relationships tend to be profound and significant. They also prefer to interact with people on a one-on-one basis rather than in a large group setting.

It is important to note that introversion does not necessarily equate with shyness. In their book, The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal, authors Schmidt and Buss write, "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort." Shyness indicates a fear of people or social situations. Introverts, on the other hand, simply do not like to spend lots of time interacting with other people. However, they do appreciate being around people to whom they are close. They find engaging in "small talk" tedious, but do enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations.

Introverts tend to think about things before talking. They want to have a full understanding of a concept before they voice an opinion or try to offer an explanation.

While extroverts typically learn through trial and error, introverts learn best through observation.

In an excellent article in Atlantic Monthly, author Jonathan Rauch took on some of the common myths and misconceptions about introverts. While introverts are often labeled as shy, aloof, and arrogant, Rauch explains that these perceptions result from the failure of extroverts to understand how introverts function. "Extr[a]verts have little or no grasp of introversion," Rauch suggests. "They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion.

As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extr[a]verts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood."

According to estimates, extraverts outnumber introverts by about three to one. Introverts often find that other people try to change them or even suggest that there is something "wrong" with them. Nothing could be further from the truth. While introverts make up a smaller portion of the population, there is no right or wrong personality type. Instead, both introverts and extroverts should strive to understand each other's differences and similarities.

As you might imagine, jobs that require a great deal of social interaction usually hold little appeal to people high in introversion. On the other hand, careers that involve working independently are often a great choice for introverts. For example, an introvert might enjoy working as a writer, accountant, computer programmer, graphic designer, pharmacist or artist.

_References

_{Rauch, J. (2003). Caring for your introvert. Atlantic Monthly. Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/#}

_{Sword, L. (2002). The Gifted Introvert. Retrieved from http://talentdevelop.com/articles/GiftIntrov.html}

Sources

Aron EN, Aron A. Sensory-processing sensitivity and its relation to introversion and emotionality. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1997;73(2):345-368.

Cabello R, Fernandez-Berrocal P. Under which conditions can introverts achieve happiness? Mediation and moderation effects of the quality of social relationships and emotion regulation ability on happiness. PeerJ. 2015;3:e1300. doi:10.7717/peerj.1300.

Cain, S. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. New York: Crown Publishers; 2012.

How to deal: Introvert vs Extrovert children

How to deal: Introvert vs Extrovert children

William Doherty, Ph.D., a family therapist and professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, says that the pressure on parents to bring up a child right is both disturbing and unnerving. “The adult world has become so competitive and market-driven that we no longer buffer our children from those pressures,” he says on a leading children’s website. This pressure often results in parents forcing their child to be someone that he is not, leaving him confused and grappling to form his own identity.

What to do?

The trick, say experts, is to recognise the potential in each child and to work towards nurturing it, rather than trying to “correct” a flaw in the child, which did not exist in the first place. For Shilpi, what worked in her favour was that even though her two children were quite different from each other, they had their own set of likes and dislikes, which in no way reflected their personality type. “A lot of children think that an introvert child would keep to himself and an extrovert child would always be on the move; this is not true. While my son (who is an introvert) likes to play football, my daughter has recently started taking to colouring and it is the only time she sits still in the course of the day!, she says.

Here are a few expert-backed tips on how to deal with an introvert and extrovert child, to the best of your ability.

For an introvert child

•Encourage him/her to express himself, without worrying about the medium through which he/her does it.

•Do not force the child to “make friends” or be more sociable. As long as your child is engaged in something constructive, it is okay to wait it out till he is ready.

•Talk more with him/her: While it does not have to be a “conversation” loaded with big words (which might intimidate your child), simply being there for him will encourage him to be more reciprocal of other’s feelings.

For an extrovert child

•Build activities to keep him busy – get as much structure in his routine as possible.

•Hear him about – If he needs a channel of communication, let that be you and not anyone else.

•Help him understand that sometimes, it’s okay to let others speak or do things that does not involve him (your child).

However, each child is different and so is each parent, so while these tips might work for some, they might not work for others. Regardless of this, let your child be, and take pride in his personality, no matter how unique it is!

4 Red Flags When Dating An Introvert That May Be Hard To Pick Up On

4 Red Flags When Dating An Introvert That May Be Hard To Pick Up On

While some of us can't keep our mouths shut to save our lives and find nothing more delightful than being the center of attention, our quieter, more introverted counterparts often balk at the idea of having to be in the company of more than a few people at a time. While there is most definitely nothing wrong with dating someone who's more introverted, or vice versa, depending on what you're looking for in a relationship, it's a good idea to keep an eye out for red flags when dating an introvert that could spell trouble.

1. They May Be Hard To Read

One thing that can cause conflict between extroverts and introverts is that many people assume those who are more reserved are mean or disinterested (which obviously couldn't be further from the truth). But even though this is often not the case, it can be a source of drama.

"For instance, if your family thinks your introverted partner doesn’t like them because they never join family rituals or make conversation or extend themselves for family, this can create a relationship problem," says Masini.

2. You May Disagree On Your Ideas Of Fun

"The extrovert’s idea of fun — or even obligation when it comes to work, family and friends — is going to pose a real challenge for an introvert," says Masini, "Especially [for extreme introverts] who would rather not be involved in those activities because they involve so much being out there."

The truth is that, sometimes, regardless of how much you love someone, there is a fundamental compatibility issue. That is not to say that these can't be overcome, but it's going to require compromise on both sides that, for some people, could feel like they are just too big to make.

3. You May Feel Your Freedom Is Hindered

"When introversion creates stumbling blocks for going to parties, negotiating reservations at restaurants or hotels, or navigating a social life as part of a couple, then introversion is going to be challenge for any relationship," explains Masini.

While it should definitely be noted that not all introverts have social anxiety, there are some that do. If someone has social anxiety, it is their (and only their) choice as to whether or not they work to deal with this and at what pace they do so. And their partner should be understanding of this. For a partner who really thrives in larger social situations, this may present a challenge. But with conversation, understanding, and compromise, it's totally manageable.

4. It May Take A While To Become Aware Of Their True Feelings

In more extreme cases, where a person is so introverted that they are constantly struggling to assert and express themselves, even getting to the point where you are actually in a relationship with them and are aware of their feelings about you could end up being an uphill battle.

"If an introvert doesn’t ask you out because they’re too [consumed] by their introversion and risking rejection in what they may perceive as the spotlight, the relationship will stall," warns Masini.

Most people might not be extroverts or introverts but 'ambiverts' — here's what it means to be one

Most people might not be extroverts or introverts but 'ambiverts' — here's what it means to be one

Lets Confront -

As well as extroverts and introverts, there are "ambiverts" who lie somewhere in the middle.

Researchers predict about two thirds of us are ambiverts.

They are people who sometimes like to socialise but other times they want to be alone.

As with all personality types, there are benefits and drawbacks.

People often categorise themselves into one of two types: an extrovert or an introvert.

Stereotypically, extroverts are the life of the party, and like nothing more than socialising with friends and meeting new people. Introverts are happier going home alone and curling up with a book.

But as research has shown, extroversion and introversion lie on a spectrum. In fact, it might not be a case of being one or the other, but a mixture of both. These people are called "ambiverts," and one study predicts up to two thirds of us could be labeled as this instead.

For example, when I'm in the mood I can be the last person standing at a party. But there are also days I'd prefer to go home early and spend some time alone. People like me don't fit into the rigid categories of extrovert or introvert, because sometimes I'll be one, and the next day I'll be the other.

The study, published in the journal Psychological Science in 2013, highlighted some of the traits of ambiverts, by looking at how they sold products. The results showed that out of everyone, ambiverts made the best sales people.

According to the author Adam Grant, an organisational psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania, this could be because ambiverts are better at understanding other people's emotions. Rather than talking too much, or too little, ambiverts managed to do just the right amount — and make more sales as a result.

"Ambiverts achieve greater sales productivity than extroverts or introverts do," the study concludes. "Because they naturally engage in a flexible pattern of talking and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale but are more inclined to listen to customers' interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident."

As Grant told the Wall Street Journal: "Ambiverts are like Goldilocks — they offer neither too much nor too little."

However, they have drawbacks too. Ambiverts can find it difficult to know which side of their personality to lead in certain situations. While extroverts and introverts are fairly sure what they prefer, and what situations they thrive in, ambiverts may struggle to decide.

Because of this, they might find themselves demotivated but not understanding why. They might not realise they need to change their approach to a situation to feel more motivated.

The idea of an ambivert has been around for a while, since psychiatrist Carl Jung brought the concepts of extroversion and introversion into the mainstream in the 1920s. He theorised there was a middle group, but psychologists didn't start using the term ambivert until the 1940s.

If you want to find out if you're an ambivert, there's a test you can take developed by Daniel Pink, an author who writes about human behaviour. You can try it here.