The Introvert 

“Stop looking at it as - a disease to be cured”

Do you remember the first time you learned about “introverts” and “extroverts?”

Childhood & Middle school would have been easier if I had known about it, I just thought I was weird. Introvert is not vernacular, but it is getting better.

In fact, many of us often feel that they don’t fit into the mainstream crowd and wonder if there is something wrong with them altogether.

The teacher who says, “This boy never speaks up in class, he is so disengaged.” The boss who says, “Why are you so quiet in meetings – you never have anything to add.” Or the mother who says, “You don’t talk to me about your day - anything's wrong” 

People don’t understand introverts:

People falsely think introvert is synonymous with shy, and that’s all. It isn’t true, and it isn't all. 

Myth #1 : Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 : Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 : Introverts are arrogant.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 : Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #5 : Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

When I was a child, I literally hid in my room when visitors came to visit. As an adult, still feel uneasy when visitors come to my house. I wish I was an amazing, hospitable host, but I really prefer to keep my home as a retreat from the outside world.

The poem “Mon Semblable” by Stephen Dunn beautifully expresses the merits of “holding some back”:

Anonymous among strangers
I look for those
with hidden wings,

and for scars
that those who once had wings
can’t hide.

Though I know it’s unfair,
I reveal myself
one mask at a time.

Does this appeal to you,
such slow disclosures,
a lifetime perhaps

of almost knowing one another?
I would hope you, too,
would hold something back...