11 Signs You Are A True Introvert At Heart...

11 Signs You Are A True Introvert At Heart

Contrary to what people might say, being an introvert is not a bad thing. Sometimes you really need to be on your own. Introverts are generally energized by being alone rather than being with people. And it’s not necessary that they are bad with people either. It’s just that they choose to be selective talkers, which is not a bad thing at all. Plus there are also certain unique personality traits that an introvert will display. Introverts are passionate too and they don’t easily make friends. So in accordance with that, if you can relate to the 13 signs listed below, you might be an introvert.

1). You avoid situations where you have to interact with a lot of people.

Many people use the terms “introvert” and “shy” interchangeably. They think that all introverts are timid. I understand where the confusion lies. Both introverts and shy people tend to avoid socializing at times, but we do so for different reasons. Introverts often stay on the sidelines at social events because socializing drains our energy.

We must be selective about how much we “put ourselves out there” because we don’t want to crash afterwards. Shy people, on the other hand, avoid socializing out of fear of the unfamiliar. The thought of talking to a stranger, or speaking in front of a group scares them. Instead of worrying about energy drain, they are concerned about making a fool of themselves, or being rejected and judged.

2). You have a very selected list of people you call friends and hang out with. Mostly the people you’ve known for a long time.

When I tell people I’m an introvert, they often don’t believe me. “No you’re not,” they say “you’re so friendly”. The implication is that introverts don’t know how to behave socially. This is another misconception. Many introverts have superior social skills. They are confident, assertive, and interesting to talk to. People don’t realize this because they just assume everyone with good social skills is an extrovert.

Some introverts even come off as outgoing and gregarious. We have become great actors, skilled at wearing the mask of extroversion when needed. Who can blame us? In a world that favors extroverts, we have learned to adapt so we don’t get left behind. But, hey, even the most socially adept introvert feels a little awkward sometimes.

3). You enjoy spending time by yourself at home doing absolutely nothing.

You might be thinking, “I fit into both of those descriptions”. If that’s the case, then you might be introverted and shy. The two characteristics can occur together or separately. This means both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Likewise, both introverts and extroverts can be self-assured.

4). You hate small talk.

“Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family.”

Most introverts, myself included, prefer one-on-one interactions over large groups. We are the ones who hang out at the edge of the room at parties and have deep discussions with one or two people. We are more likely to shine in quieter settings that don’t assault our energy. I’ve also noticed that many introverts enjoy structured social activities over just hanging out with a bunch of acquaintances.

5). You enjoy talking long walks and going on drives on your own.

“Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.”~ Susan Cain

I am often asked “can introverts turn into extroverts?” Such inquiries are usually accompanied by a story of how the person used to be quiet and withdrawn as a child and then became more outgoing in adulthood. In most cases, their behaviour changed because they overcame their shyness.

As I said earlier, shyness is not the same as introversion. Shyness can most definitely change with time and effort. Introversion, on the other hand, is a personality type that endures throughout our life. A study by American psychologist Jerome Kagan found that introversion is present from infancy. In Kagan’s study, four-month old babies were subjected to various forms of stimuli, including new sounds, faces and objects. Babies who reacted dramatically to the new stimuli (crying, thrashing limbs, etc.) were defined as ‘high reactive’.

6). You listen more and talk less.

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

We live in a world where social etiquette was largely designed by and for extroverts. Sometimes this causes introverts to come off as rude. Declining invitations, setting personal boundaries, and leaving the party early can all be seen as rude. It’s gotten so bad that people don’t even know how to say “no” anymore without feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

There are tons of articles swirling around the Internet that detail how to stay “no” and why it’s okay to do so. Introverts have been struggling beneath the pressure to be “yes” people most of our lives. We said “yes” to social events when every fiber of our exhausted being was saying “no”. We poured out pleasantries and politeness to the point of depletion. Then we felt guilty for not having an ounce of energy left for niceties.

7). You get lost in a chain of thoughts quite often.

You cannot magically “cure” a person’s introversion. And why would you want to? Introversion comes with many unique gifts. The world needs more calm, more quiet, and more depth. Introverts are the best people to provide all that and much more. Instead of trying to change us into extroverts, society should thank introverts for bringing balance to an exhaustingly extroverted society.

8). You observe things that other people ignore. Like minute details!

It’s not their fault, movies and television shows often portray introverts this way.  From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular.

Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like She’s All That and Can’t Buy Me Love where the popular kids make a bet that they can ‘make over’ the introvert and turn them into popular extroverts.

Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are.

9). You open up to a very few about your feelings.

Introverts are notoriously ‘in their own head’ much of the time.  For most introverts, it’s a safe place to be.

Inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them.

When an introvert speaks, it’s almost guaranteed that they have spent many hours thinking about the subject, forming their opinions, and carefully choosing the words they wish to use.

10). Your favourite pastime is reading or listening to music.

Anyone mysterious is always charming, right? Think Gatsby. In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face.

If it’s their party, they’re making sure everyone is having a good time, floating from group to group, never staying in one place too long. They’re around long enough so you know they’re there, but not long enough for you to know much about them. They’re not flirting with every face they see. They’re not bragging, boasting, or showing off. They’re in absolute control of their mood, their emotions, and even their body language. Yet, somehow, they manage to attract people to them.

Their mysteriousness is magnetic, and it leaves people wondering just what it is they have.

11). You don't give a damn shit to what people wearing for a party!!

Overall, the introvert doesn’t want to draw unwanted attention to themselves. They prefer to blend in with whatever crowd they happen to find themselves in.

However, introverts leave clues. As they tend to spend more time in solitude than in crowds, introverts are meticulous in how they take care of themselves.

You’ll often see them with their hair neat and styled, their nails are trimmed, they smell good, and their clothing fits them perfectly. Introverts often look and dress like a model without all the flash.