How to deal: Introvert vs Extrovert children

How to deal: Introvert vs Extrovert children

William Doherty, Ph.D., a family therapist and professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, says that the pressure on parents to bring up a child right is both disturbing and unnerving. “The adult world has become so competitive and market-driven that we no longer buffer our children from those pressures,” he says on a leading children’s website. This pressure often results in parents forcing their child to be someone that he is not, leaving him confused and grappling to form his own identity.

What to do?

The trick, say experts, is to recognise the potential in each child and to work towards nurturing it, rather than trying to “correct” a flaw in the child, which did not exist in the first place. For Shilpi, what worked in her favour was that even though her two children were quite different from each other, they had their own set of likes and dislikes, which in no way reflected their personality type. “A lot of children think that an introvert child would keep to himself and an extrovert child would always be on the move; this is not true. While my son (who is an introvert) likes to play football, my daughter has recently started taking to colouring and it is the only time she sits still in the course of the day!, she says.

Here are a few expert-backed tips on how to deal with an introvert and extrovert child, to the best of your ability.

For an introvert child

•Encourage him/her to express himself, without worrying about the medium through which he/her does it.

•Do not force the child to “make friends” or be more sociable. As long as your child is engaged in something constructive, it is okay to wait it out till he is ready.

•Talk more with him/her: While it does not have to be a “conversation” loaded with big words (which might intimidate your child), simply being there for him will encourage him to be more reciprocal of other’s feelings.

For an extrovert child

•Build activities to keep him busy – get as much structure in his routine as possible.

•Hear him about – If he needs a channel of communication, let that be you and not anyone else.

•Help him understand that sometimes, it’s okay to let others speak or do things that does not involve him (your child).

However, each child is different and so is each parent, so while these tips might work for some, they might not work for others. Regardless of this, let your child be, and take pride in his personality, no matter how unique it is!