Never forget the small joys of life...

Lessons Learned In Life...

As i mature i realize that i talk to myself more, i correct my own mistakes, i follow my own advice. Less people are around and that has allowed me to connect with myself. I've become one of my own best friend, i started competing with myself and simply trying to be better than the person i was yesterday.

Never Forget how far you've come. Everything you have gotten through. All the times you have pushed on even when you felt you couldn't. All the mornings you got out of bed no matter how hard it was. All the times you wanted to give up but you got through another day. Never forget how much strength you have learned and developed within yourself.

Everyday may not be good but there is something good in everyday. Sometimes we need to look from a different perspective towards life and the life makes you a different person.

It's a small try, may be it will change atleast one person :-

1. Thank God for another day and live like it's your birthday. 

There is no single way to be assertive. You don't have to blow people's doors off with uber-assertive comments like: "I don't buy that" or "That will never work"—especially if it doesn't feel comfortable for you. Instead, choose words and phrases that feel natural, or natural enough. For example, you might show assertiveness through careful, deliberate questioning—as in: "That's interesting—can you tell me more about why you believe that?" Or "That's an interesting point, but what I've seen in the industry is..." The point is that you can be assertive, but on your own terms and in a way that works for you. 

2. Just be yourself and be confident in showing your true self.

Finally, one of the very best ways to command respect is to be a problem solver. So, do your homework, and come prepared with solutions to vexing problems that the group is struggling with. And make these solutions evidence-based—grounded in research you've done or analyses you've conducted. People respect good ideas and smart solutions and this can be a great way to show assertiveness in a way that plays to your strengths as a smart, strategic thinker.  

In the end, remember that assertiveness isn't just for people who love the sound of their voice. You can be assertive—and make a real, concrete, memorable impact on a group—without being a loud-mouthed jerk in the process.  

3. Stressful days are a part of life, try to catch little joys and laugh..

You want to speak up, stand out, get your voice heard, make good points at meetings, and build a positive reputation as a worthwhile contributor—and maybe even someone with leadership potential.  But you're a bit introverted, and unsure how to be assertive and outspoken in a way that doesn't make you cringe.  

So, how can you be noticed and speak your mind, without compromising who you are? 

4. Don't believe everything people say. Life is just one big show after-all.

There was a time when running a private practice in many professional fields meant you needed a license, a private office, a desk, several comfortable chairs, a locked filing cabinet, and a sign out front. And for some practitioners that’s still the way to go. But for many, the private practice industry has really become the entrepreneurial industry with lots of fascinating ways to explore the limits of practicing your profession. (If you’re a licensed professional in any field, be sure to check the ethical/legal guidelines before moving too afar in the online/marketing world. There are likely to be limitations on your scope of practice, advertising ability, etc.)

5. Forgive others but don't be a fool to trust them again.

It’s so easy to read what others are doing and get caught up in a comparison trap. The pressure from online marketing sites is intense. According to the marketing wizards, for instance, if you want to be a successful author, it’s not enough to have Twitter or Facebook (or whatever) accounts—you also have to have lots of followers. And I mean LOTS of followers. As in five- to six-figures of followers. And an email list. Maybe this knowledge inspires you to get online: it makes me feel like giving up. It just seems too public; too intrusive, and more interactive than I care to be. 

6. Kindness is a language that a deaf can hear and a blind can see.

If you’re a reader or researcher, you likely have lots of potential topics to write about. And you may even enjoy writing—a great advantage for online marketing. Content is king, as they say. This might actually be fun. Also, marketing is not always about being noisy and prolific. I notice that because I don’t speak up a lot at meetings, when I do, people pay attention. I think the same principle can apply to marketing. You don’t have to blog or send an email every day or even every week.  You may not need to be as prolific as everyone says. We have all signed up to get a free pdf only to be inundated with daily emails from the vendor. And then we unsubscribe. Even great blogs with valuable info can lead to reader fatigue if they arrive too often. Know your market and what your clients/readers expect or want. You might be pressuring yourself to produce a lot of content unnecessarily. 

7. Never upset on missed opportunities, life always have its ways.

Even when we enjoy ourselves, socializing drains us, especially if it’s with large groups or people we don’t know well. If we suddenly become recluses and hardly talk to anyone for a few hours or days, please don’t take it personally. It’s not that we dislike you, it’s just that solitude is a must for us to maintain our energy and sanity.

8. Sometimes just sometimes when people say 'forever' they mean it.

How do I feel when I finish reading the articles, blog posts, and pdf’s; listening to the podcasts; and watching video tutorials on marketing? Tired. Those of you who have read my other posts know that I’m big on “energy” as an indicator. If I feel my energy going up, I know I’m on the right track.  Energy going down, back away. EXCEPT- that’s not always a valid measure when my energy is influenced by my introversion and/or anxiety. When I read a little, I gain energy and excitement. Too much? I start to feel overwhelmed and my energy drops. But this doesn’t mean I should quit the idea of marketing. It means it’s time to stop temporarily and sort out what I have just learned. Yes, those posts of “75 Things You Should Do to Market Yourself” are a little daunting. But you need to remember that you don’t have to do all 75 things. Instead, if the article is valid, you can go through the list and just select two or three items to try.

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret about anything that makes you smile.

Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

According to the introverted psychiatrist Carl G.Jung, introversion and extroversion are two opposing forces within an individual. Jung was the first to identify these personality attitudes-

• one “characterized by orientation in life through subjective psychic contents” prefer to focus on their own inner world(introversion) 
• the other, “by concentration of interest on the external object” prefer to focus on the outer world.(extroversion).

Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention. They’re not looking to make a huge impression on everyone around them. They’re simply looking to relax and enjoy the company they’re with.

It doesn’t matter what you want to do, they’re just happy to be spending time with you and are more than happy to let you have the spotlight on the karaoke stage all to yourself.

While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.

THE BIG LIE

Thanks to Jung and his successors, we have the tools to understand these qualities. We have a personality test to measure introversion and extroversion.

The biggest lie is that introverts are in the minority, making up one-fourth or one-third of the population, depending on what you’ve read. Any introvert who has done a quick web search, attempting to find some company, has probably run across and even quoted these figures. But not only are these figures floating around the Web, they are also repeatedly quoted in the self-help books many of us use as resources.

Believe nothing.

No matter where you read it,

Or who said it,

Even if I have said it,

Unless it agrees with your own reason

And your own common sense.

                            —Buddha

The Mistaken Identity

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

                                                                                           —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“He’s thin and white…if he’s tall he’s got bad posture.”

 “Not particularly attractive, ungainly, with skin problems—would be first underweight and then (later in life) overweight.”

         “Nerdy.”

         “Geeky.”

“Conservative style, neutral colors.”

These are some descriptions of what an introvert looks like.

THE OPPOSITE OF SOCIAL IS NOT INTROVERTED

An introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn’t interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction.A related assumption about introverts is that we are socially incompetent.

Any relationship, whether business, social, or romantic, requires a substantial investment of time and energy for an introvert.  Because of this, introverts are not always on the prowl for the next big thing, the next score, the next connection that’ll help them climb the ladder.  They’re invested in you and will remain invested in you no matter the distraction. They’ll defend you when nobody else will and be at your side when everyone else abandons you.

Just don’t take their loyalty for granted or take advantage of them too many times. They’re loyal, however if you burn them too many times, they’ll be nothing more than a memory.

So, being an introvert does not mean you’re antisocial, asocial, or socially inept. It does mean that you are oriented to ideas—whether those ideas involve you with people or not. It means that you prefer spacious interactions with fewer people. And it means that, when you converse, you are more interested in sharing ideas than in talking about people and what they’re doing.

WE ARE DIFFERENT—DIFFERENT FROM EXTROVERTS

Just because someone enjoys being alone doesn’t mean they don’t like company. For introverts, interaction is energy draining somehow, and they only want to spend time and the limited energy on people who truly understand them and matter to them.

Always be polite and acknowledge their presence. Give introverts the personal space they need and be comfortable with being silent with them sometimes. They’ll appreciate you for not being pushy on them to get a lot of their attention.

So the next time you meet an introvert, don’t assume they’re being cold to you, it just takes time for them to break the ice with new people.

Introverts are amazing people with rich hidden depths, and if you are one or know one, rejoice!

Introverts are drawn to worlds more exotic or complex than what is immediately available.

• First, introverts are higher users of mental health services. Why? They like looking inside! For many introverts, therapy is attractive and exciting. They are not afraid of what they’ll find—they’re already familiar with the territory. 

• Secondly, extroverts often incorrectly assume that introverts are suffering. Introverts internalize problems; we like to take things inside and work on them there.

Our gifts are not only evident in our ideas and creations,but in the way we live. By pursing the “more” that we need—time, space, thought—we wedge open new possibilities for everyone. We preserve solitary places, and also scout ahead, rendering the inner life safer for others. The “less” that we need—less formality, fewer people, less external stimuli—also looks good, especially to the overextended.

11 Signs You Are A True Introvert At Heart...

11 Signs You Are A True Introvert At Heart

Contrary to what people might say, being an introvert is not a bad thing. Sometimes you really need to be on your own. Introverts are generally energized by being alone rather than being with people. And it’s not necessary that they are bad with people either. It’s just that they choose to be selective talkers, which is not a bad thing at all. Plus there are also certain unique personality traits that an introvert will display. Introverts are passionate too and they don’t easily make friends. So in accordance with that, if you can relate to the 13 signs listed below, you might be an introvert.

1). You avoid situations where you have to interact with a lot of people.

Many people use the terms “introvert” and “shy” interchangeably. They think that all introverts are timid. I understand where the confusion lies. Both introverts and shy people tend to avoid socializing at times, but we do so for different reasons. Introverts often stay on the sidelines at social events because socializing drains our energy.

We must be selective about how much we “put ourselves out there” because we don’t want to crash afterwards. Shy people, on the other hand, avoid socializing out of fear of the unfamiliar. The thought of talking to a stranger, or speaking in front of a group scares them. Instead of worrying about energy drain, they are concerned about making a fool of themselves, or being rejected and judged.

2). You have a very selected list of people you call friends and hang out with. Mostly the people you’ve known for a long time.

When I tell people I’m an introvert, they often don’t believe me. “No you’re not,” they say “you’re so friendly”. The implication is that introverts don’t know how to behave socially. This is another misconception. Many introverts have superior social skills. They are confident, assertive, and interesting to talk to. People don’t realize this because they just assume everyone with good social skills is an extrovert.

Some introverts even come off as outgoing and gregarious. We have become great actors, skilled at wearing the mask of extroversion when needed. Who can blame us? In a world that favors extroverts, we have learned to adapt so we don’t get left behind. But, hey, even the most socially adept introvert feels a little awkward sometimes.

3). You enjoy spending time by yourself at home doing absolutely nothing.

You might be thinking, “I fit into both of those descriptions”. If that’s the case, then you might be introverted and shy. The two characteristics can occur together or separately. This means both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Likewise, both introverts and extroverts can be self-assured.

4). You hate small talk.

“Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family.”

Most introverts, myself included, prefer one-on-one interactions over large groups. We are the ones who hang out at the edge of the room at parties and have deep discussions with one or two people. We are more likely to shine in quieter settings that don’t assault our energy. I’ve also noticed that many introverts enjoy structured social activities over just hanging out with a bunch of acquaintances.

5). You enjoy talking long walks and going on drives on your own.

“Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.”~ Susan Cain

I am often asked “can introverts turn into extroverts?” Such inquiries are usually accompanied by a story of how the person used to be quiet and withdrawn as a child and then became more outgoing in adulthood. In most cases, their behaviour changed because they overcame their shyness.

As I said earlier, shyness is not the same as introversion. Shyness can most definitely change with time and effort. Introversion, on the other hand, is a personality type that endures throughout our life. A study by American psychologist Jerome Kagan found that introversion is present from infancy. In Kagan’s study, four-month old babies were subjected to various forms of stimuli, including new sounds, faces and objects. Babies who reacted dramatically to the new stimuli (crying, thrashing limbs, etc.) were defined as ‘high reactive’.

6). You listen more and talk less.

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

We live in a world where social etiquette was largely designed by and for extroverts. Sometimes this causes introverts to come off as rude. Declining invitations, setting personal boundaries, and leaving the party early can all be seen as rude. It’s gotten so bad that people don’t even know how to say “no” anymore without feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

There are tons of articles swirling around the Internet that detail how to stay “no” and why it’s okay to do so. Introverts have been struggling beneath the pressure to be “yes” people most of our lives. We said “yes” to social events when every fiber of our exhausted being was saying “no”. We poured out pleasantries and politeness to the point of depletion. Then we felt guilty for not having an ounce of energy left for niceties.

7). You get lost in a chain of thoughts quite often.

You cannot magically “cure” a person’s introversion. And why would you want to? Introversion comes with many unique gifts. The world needs more calm, more quiet, and more depth. Introverts are the best people to provide all that and much more. Instead of trying to change us into extroverts, society should thank introverts for bringing balance to an exhaustingly extroverted society.

8). You observe things that other people ignore. Like minute details!

It’s not their fault, movies and television shows often portray introverts this way.  From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular.

Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like She’s All That and Can’t Buy Me Love where the popular kids make a bet that they can ‘make over’ the introvert and turn them into popular extroverts.

Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are.

9). You open up to a very few about your feelings.

Introverts are notoriously ‘in their own head’ much of the time.  For most introverts, it’s a safe place to be.

Inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them.

When an introvert speaks, it’s almost guaranteed that they have spent many hours thinking about the subject, forming their opinions, and carefully choosing the words they wish to use.

10). Your favourite pastime is reading or listening to music.

Anyone mysterious is always charming, right? Think Gatsby. In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face.

If it’s their party, they’re making sure everyone is having a good time, floating from group to group, never staying in one place too long. They’re around long enough so you know they’re there, but not long enough for you to know much about them. They’re not flirting with every face they see. They’re not bragging, boasting, or showing off. They’re in absolute control of their mood, their emotions, and even their body language. Yet, somehow, they manage to attract people to them.

Their mysteriousness is magnetic, and it leaves people wondering just what it is they have.

11). You don't give a damn shit to what people wearing for a party!!

Overall, the introvert doesn’t want to draw unwanted attention to themselves. They prefer to blend in with whatever crowd they happen to find themselves in.

However, introverts leave clues. As they tend to spend more time in solitude than in crowds, introverts are meticulous in how they take care of themselves.

You’ll often see them with their hair neat and styled, their nails are trimmed, they smell good, and their clothing fits them perfectly. Introverts often look and dress like a model without all the flash.

Understanding the INTROVERTED !

Understanding the INTROVERTED !

Introverted people live in a Human-sized hamster ball.

(Not really but you know what i mean)

The major trait of a true Introvert, as opposed to someone who is withdrawn, is how they gain their energy.

Some introverted traits seem to be ingrained. Others are a result of the culture we live in. For example, many introverts have learned to cope with constant overstimulation by putting up a wall. This leads people to believe that introverts are cold, or standoffish, but this is not our true nature. The innate qualities that most introverts share are a love of introspection, a need for solitude, and a slower, more focused communication style.



 
                          Just because someone is introverted doesn't mean 
                                                  they don't like company.
     Interaction is just expensive and they don't want to spend it on something annoying. 

Here's What You Do ?

Say Hello, be polite & relaxed, show that you recognize and approve of their presence.

It is important for introverts to feel Welcome. They won't spend their precious energy on someone who doesn't want them around.

If you have interesting /important news to mention , mention it.

Just don't press for Gossip.

Then go back to whatever you were doing. 

Now the introverts knows that you are friendly & open to interaction

                                                                                     

“Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering – because you can’t take it in all at once.” ~Audrey Hepburn

“Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Introverts are known for being quiet. We are word economists in a world suffering from verbal diarrhea. Society tells us to speak up and speak out, even if that means our sentences are bloated with useless chatter. I’ll take silence over bullshit any day.

Most of the introverts I talk to would agree. Unfortunately, we introverts receive a lot of flack for our wordless ways. We are often asked “why are you so quiet?” To which we reply ——— um ————— ?? ———errr ————. The reason many introverts take a less is more approach to conversation has to do with the way our brain works.

Studies have found many differences between an introvert’s brain compared to an extrovert’s. One key difference is that information travels a longer pathway through an introvert’s brain. This causes us to process information more deeply and is likely why we take longer to verbalize our thoughts. My innie friend Jenn Granneman, creator of Introvert Dear, wrote a fascinating article about the introvert’s brain.