Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength
According to the introverted psychiatrist Carl G.Jung, introversion and extroversion are two opposing forces within an individual. Jung was the first to identify these personality attitudes-
- one “characterized by orientation in life through subjective psychic contents” prefer to focus on their own inner world(introversion)
- the other, “by concentration of interest on the external object” prefer to focus on the outer world.(extroversion).
Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention. They’re not looking to make a huge impression on everyone around them. They’re simply looking to relax and enjoy the company they’re with.
It doesn’t matter what you want to do, they’re just happy to be spending time with you and are more than happy to let you have the spotlight on the karaoke stage all to yourself.
While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.
THE BIG LIE
Thanks to Jung and his successors, we have the tools to understand these qualities. We have a personality test to measure introversion and extroversion.
The biggest lie is that introverts are in the minority, making up one-fourth or one-third of the population, depending on what you’ve read. Any introvert who has done a quick web search, attempting to find some company, has probably run across and even quoted these figures. But not only are these figures floating around the Web, they are also repeatedly quoted in the self-help books many of us use as resources.
Believe nothing.
No matter where you read it,
Or who said it,
Even if I have said it,
Unless it agrees with your own reason
And your own common sense.
—Buddha
The Mistaken Identity
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
“He’s thin and white…if he’s tall he’s got bad posture.”
“Not particularly attractive, ungainly, with skin problems—would be first underweight and then (later in life) overweight.”
“Nerdy.”
“Geeky.”
“Conservative style, neutral colors.”
These are some descriptions of what an introvert looks like.
THE OPPOSITE OF SOCIAL IS NOT INTROVERTED
An introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn’t interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction.A related assumption about introverts is that we are socially incompetent.
Any relationship, whether business, social, or romantic, requires a substantial investment of time and energy for an introvert. Because of this, introverts are not always on the prowl for the next big thing, the next score, the next connection that’ll help them climb the ladder. They’re invested in you and will remain invested in you no matter the distraction. They’ll defend you when nobody else will and be at your side when everyone else abandons you.
Just don’t take their loyalty for granted or take advantage of them too many times. They’re loyal, however if you burn them too many times, they’ll be nothing more than a memory.
So, being an introvert does not mean you’re antisocial, asocial, or socially inept. It does mean that you are oriented to ideas—whether those ideas involve you with people or not. It means that you prefer spacious interactions with fewer people. And it means that, when you converse, you are more interested in sharing ideas than in talking about people and what they’re doing.
WE ARE DIFFERENT—DIFFERENT FROM EXTROVERTS
Just because someone enjoys being alone doesn’t mean they don’t like company. For introverts, interaction is energy draining somehow, and they only want to spend time and the limited energy on people who truly understand them and matter to them.
Always be polite and acknowledge their presence. Give introverts the personal space they need and be comfortable with being silent with them sometimes. They’ll appreciate you for not being pushy on them to get a lot of their attention.
So the next time you meet an introvert, don’t assume they’re being cold to you, it just takes time for them to break the ice with new people.
Introverts are amazing people with rich hidden depths, and if you are one or know one, rejoice!
Introverts are drawn to worlds more exotic or complex than what is immediately available.
- First, introverts are higher users of mental health services. Why? They like looking inside! For many introverts, therapy is attractive and exciting. They are not afraid of what they’ll find—they’re already familiar with the territory.
- Secondly, extroverts often incorrectly assume that introverts are suffering. Introverts internalize problems; we like to take things inside and work on them there.
Our gifts are not only evident in our ideas and creations,but in the way we live. By pursing the “more” that we need—time, space, thought—we wedge open new possibilities for everyone. We preserve solitary places, and also scout ahead, rendering the inner life safer for others. The “less” that we need—less formality, fewer people, less external stimuli—also looks good, especially to the overextended.
