11 Signs You Are A True Introvert At Heart...

11 Signs You Are A True Introvert At Heart

Contrary to what people might say, being an introvert is not a bad thing. Sometimes you really need to be on your own. Introverts are generally energized by being alone rather than being with people. And it’s not necessary that they are bad with people either. It’s just that they choose to be selective talkers, which is not a bad thing at all. Plus there are also certain unique personality traits that an introvert will display. Introverts are passionate too and they don’t easily make friends. So in accordance with that, if you can relate to the 13 signs listed below, you might be an introvert.

1). You avoid situations where you have to interact with a lot of people.

Many people use the terms “introvert” and “shy” interchangeably. They think that all introverts are timid. I understand where the confusion lies. Both introverts and shy people tend to avoid socializing at times, but we do so for different reasons. Introverts often stay on the sidelines at social events because socializing drains our energy.

We must be selective about how much we “put ourselves out there” because we don’t want to crash afterwards. Shy people, on the other hand, avoid socializing out of fear of the unfamiliar. The thought of talking to a stranger, or speaking in front of a group scares them. Instead of worrying about energy drain, they are concerned about making a fool of themselves, or being rejected and judged.

2). You have a very selected list of people you call friends and hang out with. Mostly the people you’ve known for a long time.

When I tell people I’m an introvert, they often don’t believe me. “No you’re not,” they say “you’re so friendly”. The implication is that introverts don’t know how to behave socially. This is another misconception. Many introverts have superior social skills. They are confident, assertive, and interesting to talk to. People don’t realize this because they just assume everyone with good social skills is an extrovert.

Some introverts even come off as outgoing and gregarious. We have become great actors, skilled at wearing the mask of extroversion when needed. Who can blame us? In a world that favors extroverts, we have learned to adapt so we don’t get left behind. But, hey, even the most socially adept introvert feels a little awkward sometimes.

3). You enjoy spending time by yourself at home doing absolutely nothing.

You might be thinking, “I fit into both of those descriptions”. If that’s the case, then you might be introverted and shy. The two characteristics can occur together or separately. This means both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Likewise, both introverts and extroverts can be self-assured.

4). You hate small talk.

“Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family.”

Most introverts, myself included, prefer one-on-one interactions over large groups. We are the ones who hang out at the edge of the room at parties and have deep discussions with one or two people. We are more likely to shine in quieter settings that don’t assault our energy. I’ve also noticed that many introverts enjoy structured social activities over just hanging out with a bunch of acquaintances.

5). You enjoy talking long walks and going on drives on your own.

“Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.”~ Susan Cain

I am often asked “can introverts turn into extroverts?” Such inquiries are usually accompanied by a story of how the person used to be quiet and withdrawn as a child and then became more outgoing in adulthood. In most cases, their behaviour changed because they overcame their shyness.

As I said earlier, shyness is not the same as introversion. Shyness can most definitely change with time and effort. Introversion, on the other hand, is a personality type that endures throughout our life. A study by American psychologist Jerome Kagan found that introversion is present from infancy. In Kagan’s study, four-month old babies were subjected to various forms of stimuli, including new sounds, faces and objects. Babies who reacted dramatically to the new stimuli (crying, thrashing limbs, etc.) were defined as ‘high reactive’.

6). You listen more and talk less.

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

We live in a world where social etiquette was largely designed by and for extroverts. Sometimes this causes introverts to come off as rude. Declining invitations, setting personal boundaries, and leaving the party early can all be seen as rude. It’s gotten so bad that people don’t even know how to say “no” anymore without feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

There are tons of articles swirling around the Internet that detail how to stay “no” and why it’s okay to do so. Introverts have been struggling beneath the pressure to be “yes” people most of our lives. We said “yes” to social events when every fiber of our exhausted being was saying “no”. We poured out pleasantries and politeness to the point of depletion. Then we felt guilty for not having an ounce of energy left for niceties.

7). You get lost in a chain of thoughts quite often.

You cannot magically “cure” a person’s introversion. And why would you want to? Introversion comes with many unique gifts. The world needs more calm, more quiet, and more depth. Introverts are the best people to provide all that and much more. Instead of trying to change us into extroverts, society should thank introverts for bringing balance to an exhaustingly extroverted society.

8). You observe things that other people ignore. Like minute details!

It’s not their fault, movies and television shows often portray introverts this way.  From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular.

Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like She’s All That and Can’t Buy Me Love where the popular kids make a bet that they can ‘make over’ the introvert and turn them into popular extroverts.

Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are.

9). You open up to a very few about your feelings.

Introverts are notoriously ‘in their own head’ much of the time.  For most introverts, it’s a safe place to be.

Inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them.

When an introvert speaks, it’s almost guaranteed that they have spent many hours thinking about the subject, forming their opinions, and carefully choosing the words they wish to use.

10). Your favourite pastime is reading or listening to music.

Anyone mysterious is always charming, right? Think Gatsby. In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face.

If it’s their party, they’re making sure everyone is having a good time, floating from group to group, never staying in one place too long. They’re around long enough so you know they’re there, but not long enough for you to know much about them. They’re not flirting with every face they see. They’re not bragging, boasting, or showing off. They’re in absolute control of their mood, their emotions, and even their body language. Yet, somehow, they manage to attract people to them.

Their mysteriousness is magnetic, and it leaves people wondering just what it is they have.

11). You don't give a damn shit to what people wearing for a party!!

Overall, the introvert doesn’t want to draw unwanted attention to themselves. They prefer to blend in with whatever crowd they happen to find themselves in.

However, introverts leave clues. As they tend to spend more time in solitude than in crowds, introverts are meticulous in how they take care of themselves.

You’ll often see them with their hair neat and styled, their nails are trimmed, they smell good, and their clothing fits them perfectly. Introverts often look and dress like a model without all the flash.

Understanding the INTROVERTED !

Understanding the INTROVERTED !

Introverted people live in a Human-sized hamster ball.

(Not really but you know what i mean)

The major trait of a true Introvert, as opposed to someone who is withdrawn, is how they gain their energy.

Some introverted traits seem to be ingrained. Others are a result of the culture we live in. For example, many introverts have learned to cope with constant overstimulation by putting up a wall. This leads people to believe that introverts are cold, or standoffish, but this is not our true nature. The innate qualities that most introverts share are a love of introspection, a need for solitude, and a slower, more focused communication style.



 
                          Just because someone is introverted doesn't mean 
                                                  they don't like company.
     Interaction is just expensive and they don't want to spend it on something annoying. 

Here's What You Do ?

Say Hello, be polite & relaxed, show that you recognize and approve of their presence.

It is important for introverts to feel Welcome. They won't spend their precious energy on someone who doesn't want them around.

If you have interesting /important news to mention , mention it.

Just don't press for Gossip.

Then go back to whatever you were doing. 

Now the introverts knows that you are friendly & open to interaction

                                                                                     

“Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering – because you can’t take it in all at once.” ~Audrey Hepburn

“Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Introverts are known for being quiet. We are word economists in a world suffering from verbal diarrhea. Society tells us to speak up and speak out, even if that means our sentences are bloated with useless chatter. I’ll take silence over bullshit any day.

Most of the introverts I talk to would agree. Unfortunately, we introverts receive a lot of flack for our wordless ways. We are often asked “why are you so quiet?” To which we reply ——— um ————— ?? ———errr ————. The reason many introverts take a less is more approach to conversation has to do with the way our brain works.

Studies have found many differences between an introvert’s brain compared to an extrovert’s. One key difference is that information travels a longer pathway through an introvert’s brain. This causes us to process information more deeply and is likely why we take longer to verbalize our thoughts. My innie friend Jenn Granneman, creator of Introvert Dear, wrote a fascinating article about the introvert’s brain.

The Introvert 

“Stop looking at it as - a disease to be cured”

Do you remember the first time you learned about “introverts” and “extroverts?”

Childhood & Middle school would have been easier if I had known about it, I just thought I was weird. Introvert is not vernacular, but it is getting better.

In fact, many of us often feel that they don’t fit into the mainstream crowd and wonder if there is something wrong with them altogether.

The teacher who says, “This boy never speaks up in class, he is so disengaged.” The boss who says, “Why are you so quiet in meetings – you never have anything to add.” Or the mother who says, “You don’t talk to me about your day - anything's wrong” 

People don’t understand introverts:

People falsely think introvert is synonymous with shy, and that’s all. It isn’t true, and it isn't all. 

Myth #1 : Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 : Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 : Introverts are arrogant.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 : Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #5 : Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

When I was a child, I literally hid in my room when visitors came to visit. As an adult, still feel uneasy when visitors come to my house. I wish I was an amazing, hospitable host, but I really prefer to keep my home as a retreat from the outside world.